Unemployed and Overwhelmed

Ugh. I don’t like the sound of that word. Unemployed. But that’s the way the cookie crumbles.

I was “laid off” on Wednesday, due to restructuring in the department. This is total bullshit. Alas, I’m no longer working for Henry’s, and like I’ve been telling people, I was shocked, but I’m not sorry. I’ve been humming and hawing over whether or not to move on from there, anyways. They made the decision for me, so really, I should thank them. I don’t really like making decisions, especially life-altering ones like whether or not to quit a job. Not only did they make the choice for me, but they gave me a shit load of money. Well, the standard shit load, but I worked there for five bloody years.

Now I have to decide what to do with myself. This is the part that freaks me out. How do I know I’m making the right decision? And if I change my mind, would that make me look like even more of a loser? Say I take a job at, oh I don’t know… Vistek. I’ve heard the employees there are none too content. So would I just be setting myself up for more hassle? Same shit, different pile? I know there will be shit in every pile.

Anyways- here are some options I have:

Three-week trip to Australia: (This one I’ll probably do.) I haven’t seen Stef in a couple months, and it seems like it’s been at least six. I miss her, I’d love to go Down Under and shoot some photographs, and I think getting away will give me a better perspective on things. The other side of the globe is pretty extreme, but I have an opportunity, and I think I should take it. (I wonder what time it is there right now… I need to call Stef!)

Get a new job somewhere in Toronto, like Vistek or Indigo: Alright, I’ll admit it. I’ve already applied for the job at Vistek. I freaked out the day of departure, and sent them my resume. Indigo- I looked for jobs on their website, but didn’t find anything applicable for me.

Apply to a newspaper in some remote community: This has always been a dream of mine. To go off to a place like Sioux Lookout in northern Ontario and be a reporter/photographer. And there’s an opportunity right now, however, this is not something I planned to do on my own. This is for when I have a partner/husband willing to re-locate, so I don’t get lonely!

Move back to Windsor, and try to get a job/s there: This has been in the back of my mind for a few months now. I’m thinking the time is right to move out of Toronto, and for some reason, Windsor feels like a good direction. I don’t know if I feel this way because Windsor is safe (in my mind, anyways- but I know it’ll be difficult to get a job there), or if it really is the best move for me to make. This is what I struggle with. (The other issue with moving to Windsor is the fact that I’ll need to get a car. This is not something I’m totally against, but it’s another expense, making life in Windsor with a car, comparable to life in Toronto, without.) BUT- my family and my friends are there. So, this option is a really good contender.

Go back to school: I think the government would help me pay for this, if I were to choose to study something else in school. The only thing I could think of would be something like the Outdoor Education course at Humber (or something similar). But I have no idea what kind of a job I’d be able to get with a diploma from this program.

Concentrate 100% on my photography, and maybe work my way in to an assisting job: This could happen anywhere really, but I don’t know if assisting would be enough to support me on it’s own. I think I would have to find something to supplement this… I also always said I’d have a photo exhibit here in Toronto before I left the city. Well, it’s crunch time. I’m not sure if that’s going to be possible. Although, the Lens Factory is accepting proposals for March ($450 for the space, plus framing costs and advertising- this seems doable to me now). What would I show, though? I need a theme. Any theme. More to think about. But I think I should seriously consider this. I have the time to do the work involved, and the money to front. We’ll see…

I have re-vamped my website though- check it out: http://www.karigignac.com/

Tell me what you think. About everything. I’m trying to gather wisdom so I can make the right decision.