Wentworth and Hiro Save The Day

Man, yesterday SUCKED. I don’t know why, but yesterday in particular, I was feeling extremely unsatisfied with my life and everything in it. Which doesn’t consist of much… hence the depression.

Work lately is pure garbage. I have to try and not let that self-righteous twit of a woman in my office get me down. It’s hard though. There’s a wall between her and I, literally, and half of my department is over there with her, and half is here. I’m positive they talk about me over there. I bitch about her to two people in the office only- after hours or in the kitchenette. *sigh* The bitching doesn’t really help anyways. She just sucks.

And now I’m so NOT looking forward to the Cookie Swap we do every year for the holidays, simply because she’s going to be involved. I think that I just won’t organize it. If they want it to happen, they’ll have to set it up. I’m done with extra curricular activities at work. I’m done with extra effort, period. I’m not helping anyone out. I’m going to do my job, and that’s it. It’s going to drive me crazy, but craziness due to banality is better than craziness due to rage. I hope, anyways.

I’m also extremely lonely. I don’t see a light at the end of this loneliness tunnel, either. I’ve given up hope of finding anyone to share my life with. A question was put forth last week at book club: “Do ugly people know they’re ugly?” “Yes,” I said, “they do.” I look at myself in the mirror on more occasions than I’d like to admit and look away very disappointed. I know that if I want to change the way I look, I’ve got to try. But it’s hard when there’s no external motivation. It’s all one big Catch 22. My whole life is one big Catch 22.

On a more positive note, Prison Break and Heroes were amazing last night. When Prison Break wrapped up, Bex and I cheered OUT LOUD. Like it was the Super Bowl or something. On second thought- the fact that television was the only thing that could make me smile yesterday is also kind of depressing.

This has been an extremely depressing post, and I apologize if I made anyone uncomfortable.

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10 thoughts on “Wentworth and Hiro Save The Day

  1. Aw, I hope you’ve just chalked it up to a bad day – I completely disagree with what you’ve written about yourself! I don’t see that at all. You’re a beautiful person and remember, you’ve got good friends who care about you. The boy thing will come in its own time. Work however, sorry I can’t disagree with you there… but I’m just chalking that up to the fact that I’m jaded -ha! 😉

  2. I agree vith Maria. I do not hang out veeth zee ugly people in zee vorld yah.only zee beautiful people!I think if anyone looks in the mirror and see themselves as ugly, it’s not because they are (or not), it’s because they are down in the dumps about their self esteem/confidence. They don’t see their true potential. I think that anyone can believe they are beautiful,hot,sexy, whatever and if they truly believe that, they radiate it and other believe it too. It’s just a process of osmosis. It took me a long time to learn this.Tee hee hee, do the cookie swap, but save a ‘special’ cookie for her….like one with a lot of curry or like hot sauce in it. That could be funny. Bake some laxative into one, now that would be funny and mean, but funny!For what it’s worth, I think you are beautiful Kar, inside and out.Wentworth is hot and they are totally going to screw that bitch over!!

  3. Sounds like you took time away from yourself. Time to make adjustments to your activities that will give you back the joy, challenges and fun.It’s not so much the mirror you should be looking at but your schedule.Either expand on your present interests or find a new interest to put that spark back in you.Ya ya.. Mister Fix It to the rescue.. .. that’s how the Marians fall.. lol..You’ll be fine. ~.^

  4. I started reading your blog because of the photography content. I studied fine art and photography, and 10 years after taking an office job to pay the bills, I’m still here. I am so jealous of you, actually making a living doing something that you enjoy. You have a good eye, and you are talented.

  5. Sounds like you don’t give yourself enough credit!You have amazing talent & a great eye for photography. Very creative and expressive through your photos. Not many posses this talent. Other try to copy it.You should have a showing/exhibit to show the world your high caliber of talent.

  6. hey kari,sorry to read you are down in the poopers. i think it is something in the air..half moon, headed to full…lack of sun probably isn’t helping..you are a wonderful and creative person kari. you bring intellegence and a knowledge of the self to every situation. you are desirable and beautiful.I wish i was there to give you a big hug. i wish some one was here to give me one.

  7. It’s better to get this kind of stuff out than let it build up inside (and I like the one cookie swap suggestion above…)On an unrelated note, Thomas King was one of my profs at Guelph – took a native lit class and it wound up being one of my favourites, partly because I managed to use goofy books I had since childhood about baseball’s not-so-classy moments on an assignment that got an A!

  8. I guess I’m coming into this post late, and I hope you’re feeling better by now. I think that the anonymous post up there has a great idea: Do a photo show! It might take a little effort to get it rolling, but the payoff of having a bunch of strangers digging your work would be huge! (and you might even get some cash payoff too if you sell anything).so it’s settled. You have a show and I’ll help put up flyers for it.

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